The Journey--Killer Hiccups

I just got diagnosed wit a bit of cancer, had a portion of my colon removed, spent the better part of a week at the Saint Francis Hospital up north on Powers and Woodman (nicest people on the entire planet, if you have a chance, turn them on to this blog), am seeing my surgeon and oncologist this week, and will more than likely start chemo this month. Busy time for Bob.

Since I have this stuff going on, I thought I would share with everyone some of the lesser known facets of this situation.

First of all, my ascending colon and my appendix are gone. Just found out about this last bit when my surgeon addressed a tad of hypochondria I was voicing. "You can't be also experiencing Appendicitus. You have no appendix anymore"

I was astonished.

Anyway, to say I was having some discomfort would be an understatement. But I never expected a childhood ailment would piss me off so much and be so recalcitrant. Now, I got somewhere around twenty two staples on my belly. They are achy and then there's the transection of my colon. Achy again.

Along comes this are-you-kidding-me hiccups shit. Just when you get all the stupid aches somewhat settled down along comes a massive shaking of the abdomen. What is up with that? It's like a clown with rainbow hair and big shoes that comes barging into your room just when you thought you might get to sleep.

Well, fuck you hiccups.

Don't even get me started on shotgun hiccups that come ten in a row.

Got to go. Some new indignity is ringing my doorbell. Have a nice day.